Đi tu có thể đổi đời?

Có lần tôi được trò chuyện với một nữ tu phụ trách về mảng cổ võ ơn gọi cho nhà Dòng. Sơ chia sẻ rằng: “Nhiều bạn trẻ vào dòng dường như để tiến thân, để tìm một cái gì đó khác ngoài mục đích đi tu!” Tuy nhiên sơ vẫn nhận vào làm ứng sinh, để giúp các em sống và tìm hiểu ơn gọi. Lý do sơ đưa ra là: “Nhà dòng không chỉ giúp các em nhận ra ơn gọi dâng hiến, mà còn giúp các em có hành trang cần thiết để bước vào đời.” Cho dù sau khi tìm hiểu, các em không vào nhà tập thì cũng chẳng sao, bởi ít là nhà dòng đã giúp các em có cơ hội để học hành, để sống nhân bản và thiêng liêng. Với những hành trang như thế, tuy không trở thành nữ tu, hy vọng các em cũng trở thành người con tốt lành của Chúa giữa cuộc đời.

Có người cho rằng sơ trên đây thật dễ dãi để các em có vẻ “lợi dụng” nhà dòng để tiến thân. Điều ấy dường như đúng vì thực tế những em muốn đi tu thường xuất thân ở mức sống bình dân, nghèo khổ ở thôn quê. Do đó, môi trường nhà dòng có thể cho các em có đủ điều kiện tốt để học hành, hội nhập vào xã hội và thử tìm hiểu xem mình có ơn gọi dâng hiến không. Tuy nhiên, trong giai đoạn đặc thù của nơi dành cho những em tìm hiểu như thế, sơ có lý để mở ra cơ hội cho các bạn. Mở ngoặc nơi đây, Thiên Chúa thường chọn gọi những người bé nhỏ nghèo hèn! Biết đâu trong khi đồng hành với các em cả về vật chất lẫn tinh thần, nhà Dòng lại có thêm những ơn gọi mới, là những người thực sự muốn vào Dòng để sống đời thánh hiến.

Đành rằng đi tu là phải từ bỏ mọi thứ để bước theo Thầy Giêsu, tuy nhiên đó là một hành trình đào luyện. Trong đó, chúng ta không ngạc nhiên khi có người đi tu để đổi đời hiểu theo đúng nghĩa đen của nó. Nghĩa là, ơn gọi đối với họ lúc này như là tìm kiếm một địa vị xã hội, thực hiện một công việc mình thích. Đó luôn là những hứa hẹn thú vị mà có khi ứng sinh không ý thức, hoặc có người cố tình đi tìm. Trong nghĩa này, người ta nói vui rằng đúng là đi tu để đổi đời, để thoát cảnh nghèo khổ và thiếu thốn.

Trong khi đó, đi tu là để đổi mới đời sống theo những giá trị cao quý hơn mà thầy Giêsu đề nghị. Thiên Chúa mời gọi các bạn trẻ dám dấn thân trong những giá trị thiêng liêng. Họ muốn từ bỏ con người cũ, để tập sống những giá trị mà nhà Dòng dạy bảo. Họ muốn đổi mới tâm hồn với những ước mong gặp gỡ sâu xa với Chúa Giêsu. Họ muốn nên giống Giêsu trong cung cách hành xử, nơi các nhân đức, các giá trị. Đó quả thực là điều lý tưởng mà không phải ai cũng đạt được. Bởi vậy, với những ai giúp các bạn trẻ tìm hiểu ơn gọi, họ không thể đòi hỏi động lực ơn gọi tinh tuyền của các ứng viên ngay từ đầu! Điều đó là không thể trong ơn gọi. Có chăng nhà dòng nhận các bạn trẻ vào ứng sinh, vì thấy nơi các bạn có chút động lực tốt lành để dâng hiến, với những điều kiện mà bạn ấy có thể biến đổi con người mình. Chẳng hạn, sức khỏe, tuổi tác, trưởng thành thiêng liêng, tâm cảm, khả năng tri thức, v.v. là điều cần thiết để một người có thể bước vào con đường ơn gọi hiến dâng.

Một thực tế là đi tu đòi hỏi người tu phải đổi đời, nhưng không theo nghĩa trần tục. Những ai cứ muốn đổi đời theo đen, nghĩa là vun vén cho mình, thường họ không thể hạnh phúc trong đời tu. Hơn nữa, nhà Dòng cũng không chấp nhận những ai đi tu để làm theo ý riêng của mình. Những ước mơ đổi đời trong danh vọng giàu sang, dường như không cho họ sức sống, sự sáng tạo để sống hạnh phúc trong dòng. Tới một mức nào đó, họ, hoặc chính nhà Dòng thấy người ấy không phù hợp với ơn gọi dâng hiến nữa. Thế mới biết đời tu không hứa cho người tu sĩ những vinh phúc trần gian, những hào quang quyền quý.

Ngược lại, đời tu là quá trình đổi mới chính mình. Mỗi ngày người đi tu kết thân với Thầy Giêsu thêm một chút, sống yêu mến linh đạo nhà Dòng thêm một tý, từ bỏ mình để theo ý muốn Thiên Chúa thêm một ít. Họ đổi đời để không ưa chuộng gì khác ngoài tình yêu Đức Ki-tô. Được như thế, hành trình đời tu của họ luôn được đan bằng chuỗi ngày dâng hiến say mê. Họ tập sống tự do trước những hấp lực của tiền tài danh vọng. Dầu lúc đầu động lực ơn gọi của họ chưa rõ ràng hoặc còn vẩn đục, nhưng với ơn Chúa và sự dấn thân mỗi ngày, họ tìm thấy niềm vui của đời thánh hiến. Trong hành trình đó, họ thực sự đổi mới tâm hồn và đời sống của họ mỗi ngày một triển nở hơn. Tắt một lời, “việc đổi mới hay từ bỏ mọi sự và bước theo Chúa làm thành một chương trình có giá trị cho tất cả mọi người được kêu gọi, ở hết mọi thời.” (Tông huấn đời sống thánh hiến, số 18). Đó là ước ao của nhà Dòng, của Thiên Chúa.

Tuy nhiên, nhà Dòng có cách để nhận biết ứng sinh đi tu vì tiếng gọi của Chúa hay vì muốn đổi đời. Nhà Dòng luôn trao ban cơ hội cho những ai muốn bước vào đời tu, như sơ trên đây chia sẻ. Vì ơn gọi dâng hiến luôn là một màu nhiệm và do chính Thầy Giêsu kêu gọi, nên nhà Dòng luôn trợ giúp ứng sinh nhận ra món quà đó. Trong hành trình này, như một linh mục có nhiều năm trong tuyển chọn ơn gọi chia sẻ: “Trong hoàn cảnh thực tế hiện nay của Việt Nam, các bạn trẻ cần được chuẩn bị trong những năm tìm hiểu và nhận định ơn gọi để có thể giúp ứng sinh biến đổi với động lực tốt lành thánh thiện. Các ứng sinh như thế sẽ có sự bền vững nhất trong tiến trình theo đuổi và sống ơn gọi dâng hiến và tông đồ cách sung mãn. Đây là loại ứng sinh có những dấu chỉ tốt nhất về ơn gọi tu trì.” (Tôma Vũ Quang Trung, SJ).

Ước gì các bạn trẻ khi cảm thấy ít nhiều đời tu hấp dẫn mình, có vẻ Chúa đang mời gọi mình, luôn sẵn sàng lên đường tìm hiểu. Để trên hành trình ấy, các bạn dám biến đổi đời mình để loại đi những ước muốn trần tục, thêm vào những ước ao thánh thiện. Bởi các bạn trẻ cần biết rằng: “Ơn gọi của những người tận hiến là đi tìm kiếm Nước Thiên Chúa trên hết mọi sự, tiên vàn là một lời mời gọi hoán cải hoàn toàn, từ bỏ chính mình để sống hoàn toàn cho Chúa, ngõ hầu Thiên Chúa có toàn quyền trên mọi loài.” (Tông huấn đời sống thánh hiến, số 35). Với sự hoán cải ấy, con đường tu trì luôn có những đổi đời trong sự thánh thiện để cho vinh danh Chúa hơn và giúp ích cho nhiều người hơn.

Giuse Phạm Đình Ngọc SJ 

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